Bloody nose
Seriously sometimes I really wonder if this is all normal? Like does this crap happen to other families with mini joeys in them? Maybe you have a grown up joey.   
Driving down 93 after leaving the doctors for a check up for Ryan. Now mind you joey slammed the door so hard when we were leaving that he knocked a picture right off the wall. Sooooooo we are driving on route 93 and I hear joey say “uh oh mommy I’m bleeding”. I turn around and see blood gushing (yes gushing) from his nose. I throw back a few napkins and he is barely touching his nose with the napkins. So blood is pouring out of his nose and somehow he is flinging blood all over himself. At this point thing 1 and thing 2 literally start gagging at the blood. Wtf people get it together. I have to cut off two lanes of traffic to get into the breakdown lane before we are all covered and vomit and blood. I am pulled over pinching thing 3s nose super tight. Wincing as every car passes us. I’m threatening joey that I’m going to kill him if we get killed. Mikey pipes up “but mamma we will already be killed so you can’t kill him”. Yes mikey, thank you mikey.   
Ryan has to take over the nose pinching (think he secretly loves pinching his nose) so I could get back on the road and just get home.  
Not going to lie, this is an every day thing in my house. While I doing something my little friend joey must derail me from getting done what I need to get done. Now we are at the library and the kid looks like he lost a street fight with all of the blood on his shirt.    
Have a fabulous hump day folks 

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Bible camp

Once upon a time I worked full time.   Then about 9 years ago I had first baby boy.   I then went to work part time.    I had quite the balance of work life and home life.   I went to work to escape the daily mommy duties i had.  Hell some mondays I looked forward to going to work to have some me time.   About 4 years ago I gave birth to my 3rd baby boy. The plan was for me to go back to work.   A few wrenches got thrown into life at the time and we decided that it would be best if I stayed home with the boys.  I was so excited to be able to stay home and raise our boys.   I had high hopes and great expectations.   I dreamt about having this spotless house, tons of play dates, and I could go to the gym whenever i wanted to.   I would have an endless amount of time to do what ever, when ever.   It didn’t take long to realize how much of a joke all of that was.   I have never had such little time to myself before.   I know that raising babies was hard, I guess I didn’t realize just how hard and lonely it was.   It’s funny some days I don’t get 3 seconds to myself and yet there are days where I would feel absolutely alone in the world.   I have the most rewarding job there is, a mom.   I never would have guessed how hard it would really be.   That being said i wouldn’t change one second of my world.   

I signed the 3 kids up for vacation bible camp this week.   $75.00 for 3 kids to go to camp for a week?   Signed them up as soon as I could 😝

Today I Went to day 1 of camp drop off.   Mikey and Ryan kissed me and walked away.  Joey…ehhhh not so much.   He clung to me like he was never going to see me again.   He broke my heart.   He was crying and begging for me to stay.    I gave him to one of the volunteers and waited outside to see if he would be okay.  After a few minutes the tears from him stopped, yet my eyes started to well up.   I was literally crying on my way to spin class this morning.    I was such a hot mess this morning.    I almost turned around the car to go rescue Joey.   I kept thinking about how he’s only little for so long and I should be cherishing every last second with him.    I got to spin within minutes of class starting.    I was so discombobulated that I had my spin seat up too high.   Pretty sure my seat with trying to make love to my a$$ during class.   At one point I flung my towel at the person in front of me.   I finally composed myself and had the best workout.   I realized that I need a break now and again.   I need some time to myself for my own personal sanity.   I  not being selfish by wanting some me time.  Signing them up for camp was the best thing I have done in some time.    I have 3 hours where my life does not revolve around somebody else’s schedule, needs, wants, or desires. I don’t have to wait for my husband to come home to exercise. I don’t have to stop what I’m doing to feed a child or wipe someone’s butt. I am able to do what I want what I want for three short hours a day. I am so thankful for this camp this week. It came at the perfect time.  Make sure you are taking time out for you now and again.  We tend to burn out quick.  

Summer time fun

Hello there.  How is everyone doing these days?   It’s been awhile since have posted so I wanted to stop by and say hello.   Me telling you that we have had a busy summer is an understatement.    The first two weeks of summer were nonstop for me.  I had planned 1-4 things a day for us to do.   We would start off at a park, then move to the library, meet up with a friend, and then maybe end at another library event.   One day I planned strawberry picking, to a pool play date, to running around getting stuff done at night.    I burnt the 4 of us out pretty flipping quick. Joey was being out of control nasty.   I was angry and dissolving in tears because I could not handle joeys behavior.   It was miserable.    Each day we kept trucking along.   Then I said F It.   These kids do not need every second of their days planned.   They don’t need some great adventure planned every day.   We have a pool and swing set in our back yard.   They are going to learn how to have old school summers where you have friends over and go outside.    Yesterday I had a few of Mikey’s  friends families over.  I went food shopping and they all brought all these snacks.   I said to the moms I would love to get together once a week at the pool but we don’t have to go crazy with all the food.   Hell each family could bring over some sandwiches and the kids can just play all day outside with each other.   Plain and simple.  

When the hell did life get so busy and complicated.   I learned the hard way that you get burnt out very quickly by trying to do everything all at once in a short period of time.   I think we need to stop worrying so much about everyone is doing on social media and maybe spend that energy swimming or playing ball with our own kids.   Hell pick up a trashy novel and sit in the yard as the kids play tag.   Grab a bottle of wine and have some friends over while the kids play.   They get just as burnt out as we do.  I fact no one in my house has had breakfast yet and they are all playing on their electronics.  I have a list of crap to get done and I’m here typing away.   

Great wolf lodge 

Good afternoon and happy Friday.   May what?????  Seriously pretty sure each and every month I am in shock that I just turned the calendar page.  Hope you all have your umbrellas for the next week. My app tells me rain, rain, and more rain. Bluck.  

We spent 3 days a Great Wolf Lodge this past week.   Sunday and Monday night sleeps which means the kids got to miss Monday and Tuesday of school.  YOLO people right?  I love that place.  It’s one giant water park with lots of expensive stuff for the kidsto do.  I am still not sure who has more fun me or them?   They usually have to pull us out of the wave pool to close down 😍

We decided on Monday that we were having buckets of ice cream for lunch.   Now there were 10 of us sharing these sobwe figured we would get 4 buckets of ice cream and lots of spoons.  Me, my brother, and my niece get in line to order this.   I get up to the counter and ask for 4 buckets of ice cream.  The girl then tells me they are huge, was I sure that I wanted 4?  I smile and said yes I have had them before can I have 4 please.  She tries to talk me out of it but I smile and say nope I want 4 please.   I turned around to my brother and was kinda put off.  I mean honestly what if I could eat a bucket of ice cream alone (I  might or might not be able to 🐷🍦) but it’s none of her business.   Of course two buckets into making them, they run out of soft serve.   We decided to get hard ice cream and I was going to wait for the other two ice creams. The girl didn’t know I followed her to the other ice cream place.  As I walked up she was telling this other girl about how we ordered 4 buckets.  She was going on and on about it.  I then smiled at her and said oh hi those are for me.  She continues making them and looks at me and says I have to ask, how many people are these for? I said 15…..why did I care what she thought.   I honestly can’t believe how ignorant this person was.  It was none of her business how many of us there were.  Talk about getting judged on what we are eating.  


On a lighter note…I brought 2 bathing suits with me for the time that we were there.  The first night we were in the pool for a few hours so I just wore that same suit again the last day we were there.   We are getting ready to pack up and leave the resort at the end of our stay.  Hubby is walking behind me and says “Jess you can see right through the back of your suit”.  I am arguing with him telling him that impossible because the suit is black and there is no way it’s see through.   He tells me he can see my tattoos plain as day and I ignore him.   I go into the bathroom to change out of my suit and take a look at the back of the suit.   Apparently my washer and dryer had done a number on my suit because the entire arse of the suit were like washed away.   There was material there but it was bare.   So I had been walking around great wolf for 2 days with my ass bares to the world.   Thanks hun for telling me as we were leaving 

Hate technical difficulties 

Yesterday while I was sitting in the rain, waiting for the boys to get out of school, I typed up a blog post.   Thanks to lack of wifi, my fat little fingers typed away for nothing because the damn post never posted.   Damn you wifi gods above….damn you!!!!

I tend to ramble on and on about this, that and the other thing.   I will tell you about the main thing I was blogging about yesterday.    My trip to Target 🎯 .  

Tuesday morning It was cold and dreary.   I jumped in the shower, pulled on yoga pants and whatever long sleeves tshirt I could find hanging in my closet.   I skipped the whole makeup thing and tipped my head upside down and blew it dry.   No styling, no hair spray in my hair. When I was done it pretty much looked like I just rolled out of bed.   

I dropped Joey off at school and ran to target because I was out of a few things.   I spent an hour roaming the aisles of target and decided I should run home and fold all that laundry that I did this morning.  I jumped into a line and emptied the components of my carriage onto the belt.   I was going through my wallet looking for my Target card when the guy behind me drops something and it happened to hit my ankle.   I turned around to pick it up for him when I noticed the contents of his arms.  This younger guy was there holding condoms, lube, and misc other small items.   I then slowly turned and looked at my belt full of items such as maxi pads, Paw Patrol sandals, and Goldfishies.   I had to laugh.  Oh how has life changed in a blink of an eye.   I realized how this young guy behind me was in for some night, I would be sitting on the couch next to my snoozing hubby drinking wine and probably eating all the kids Goldfishes.   Ladies you understand me and my thoughts.   Hahahahahahha.    My 20s are a thing of my past.   The days of condoms and lube are replaced with wine, cuddles, and the contents of our DVR 😂😂😂

It’s okay.  I enjoyed my youth and I am enjoying my middle age even more.   Things change in a blink of an eye so enjoy these moments.   One day I will be looking back and wishing for wine and Goldfishies.   Have a fabulous Wednesday folks 😘

Shower time

I was cleaning up around my kitchen and lost track of time this morning. We were supposed to be at a friends house at 10:45 AM to do cookie and egg decorating today. I looked up at the clock and it was 10:15 and I still have not showered. I said crackers got to go and jumped in for a four minute shower. Let me tell you something, as a mom, showering will never be the same again. Well I’m thinking at least for the next 15 years it might never be the same again. I was washing my hair in the shower when my oldest burst through the door and said mom Mikey said a bad word. He said he hated me. I said go tell Michael to apologize to you and go play. About a minute later I was washing my feet when Michael burst through the bathroom door and said mom Joey said a bad word.   He said Joey keeps saying penis, penis, penis……seriously Mikey shut the door and get out of the bathroom.  I rushed through the rest of my shower.   I was bending over shutting off the water when the shower curtain was ripped open and someone yells mooooooooooommmmmmmmm.   Scared the daylights out of me.   Mikey needed to know right at that very exact second if his pants were really too big or just sorta too big?  

Are you kidding me? In the span of 4 minutes my little darling minions couldn’t hold it together so I could wash my damn body.   I’m laughing as I’m writing this and I bet moms of littles ones are too.   There is nothing sacred in your lives for the next 18 years.   Hell I spent 35 seconds peeing this morning when my youngest twisted apart my oldest’s new slinky.   You would have thought Ryan was getting Beating the way he was carrying on.  About a damn slinky?   Keep it together kids.  Keep it together.   Hope you all have a tame April vacation and a fabulous easter.   

Happy Tuesday. 

Lately I sit back and I have to laugh. Dealing with my 3 year old has to be what it’s like when our president is negotiating with 3rd world countries.   I mean seriously 2 hours to get the bugger to pick up toys and I had to walk away before I literally killed him.   He won and I felt deflated.  When steve got home he helped Joey and together they picked up the toys.  For two hours me and the child went toe to toe, neither one of us budging an inch.   

Today I texted my friend to see if she wanted to meet up at the park before preschool.   She informed me that she locked Herself in the bathroom and wasn’t coming out until her 3 year old got dressed.   You see an hour before this she dressed her child by wrestling her to  the ground and dressing her.  The child refused to back down and get dressed.  Mom had to pretty much do a takedown and get the child dressed.  So mom won (for about 5 minutes she won).   Mom went outside to get her child #1 on the bus.   As she was gettting child #1 on the bus her 3 year old got undressed and put back on her pjs.   Child wins, mom looses.   Mom was so furious she locked herself in the bathroom and wouldn’t come out until child got dressed again.  This show down lasted a bit.   Eventually she got dressed again and mom was able to come out of the bathroom.   We have all been there.  One time or another we have locked ourselves in a room or even had to go outside.  I think it’s just part of parenting.  

Last night me and Ryan (8year old) were walking up the stairs to bed.  He over heard me say that my sister was having labor pains and Ryan asked me what labor was.  I said labor was when you have to push the baby out of you.   His eyes got really really really big and he pulled up his shirt.  He turns to me and says omg mom will auntie push the baby out of her belly button?   He was legit concerned.   I almost fell over from laughing and I said no there is a hole the baby comes out.  Ry asked where the hole was…….my reply was ask me in 5 years.   Steve said good answer jess 😂

Parenting has its ups and it’s downs.  It’s fun.  It’s amazing.  It can suck.   It can be sad, scary, fabulous and many more emotions.   I wouldn’t trade these days for anything in the world.   I would like my 3 year old to let me win now and again but at the end of the day he’s all mine.   He gets his stubbornness from somewhere right?   

To all you moms who are veterans or those who are just starting out….we have all been there and have dealt with similar things.  It’s okay just grab the wine and lock yourself in a bathroom if you need to.  

Stupid metabolism 

Good morning everyone.   Happy Monday.  Seriously April 10th guys????   I just can’t even anymore. The months seem to be flying by me.  I’m thinking this is just how life is going to be at times, zipping by. 

I stepped on the scale this morning to see how I was doing and I flipping gained 5 pounds in a week.  Yup 5 pounds in a week.  The funny thing is that I upped my water intake and worked out 1-2 times a day, 5 days last week.   I hit the gym, took 2 spin classes, and did some yoga at home. I was proud of myself for getting it done.   Blam…..5 frigging pounds.   Since turning 40 some thing has happened to my body.  I find it nearly impossible to loose a pound and so simple to gain 5.  In fact since January I have been gaining and loosing the same 5-10 pounds each and every month.  It’s getting frustrating.   I could see if I was drinking gallons of soda and eating McDonalds all the time.  In fact I got McDonald for the boys last week and I made myself a frogging salad.  I started eating a healthy breakfast and even having healthier snacks while staying away from goldfishes. I’m not getting defeated.   I’m not giving up.  Just having a small pity party this morning before dusting myself off and getting back at it.  Life is all about balance and I’m realizing the older I get the more I have to shift my balance to 98% squeaky clean and 2% treat.    Before it was like an 80/20 split.  Lol.  Gravity is taking over but I will take control.  I have a closet full of cute tops that I bought last spring.  I will be wearing them In a few weeks.  

April 2017

How the hell is it already April? I swear to god it was just Christmas.  Didn’t I just turn 40?  Where is the time going these days?  The days are long, the weeks are short.   So cliche yet so true.  It makes so so sad how fast time is whizzing by me.  I am amazed that I haven’t logged into word press for over a month and blogged.  I got an email from a friend of mine who logged into my account and didn’t see anything new with my blogs.  I get that life is busy, but it should not be too busy for things we enjoy doing.   That being said I have been trying really hard to keep my phone out of my hands.  

I’m a stay at home mom to 3 boys.  Almost 3 years ago I became a beach body coach.   I was sick and tired of not having my own money and wanted to help people get excited about being healthy as I did.   I fell in love with coaching and the weekly paycheck was an added bonus.   Recently I was introduced to a home delivery wine business.  Hell if I’m drinking it every night, why shouldn’t I get it for free.  Saves money out of my own pockets.   So I’m a beachbody coach who also sells wine.   I do the wine busiensss because it’s easy to do and I love free wine.  I still continue to be a beachbody coach because it’s something that I really feel I was meant to do.   I love getting emails and messages when people are jumping up and down after reaching their own goals.   Lately I have been having a hard time keeping up with these businesses because honestly I’m sick of being a slave to my phone.   Yes I could use a computer but it’s the same technology.   I try so hard to set limits and time slots where I’m on this device answering emails and such.   Right now I’m waiting for a follow up appointment and was early so I figured I would sit and blog.  

Since I am here that would mean my hubby is at home which brings me to the point of my blog….which is easier being the working parent or the stay at home parent?  This is an age ole question that comes up again and again.   I used to work 3 days a week up until the birth of my 3rd child.   Financially it was silly for me to go back to work.   I mean it was costing my pay plus some of my hubby’s pay to send 2 babies to daycare (Ry started k the year Joey was born).   I used to feel guilty about staying at home.  I got to go to the parks during the day.  I got to meet friends for coffee during the day.   There have been countless play dates during the day over the years.   I felt guilty all summer long at the beach while my hubby was at work.   Then my youngest Started to grow up and things that were simple to do got harder and harder.  I could no longer sit and enjoy a cup of coffee at play dates, I was now chasing after my toddler who was full of energy.  Now I’m chasing down a 3.5 year old who pushes and tests me on a daily basis.   All day long someone needs a drink, a snack, help getting shoes on, change the tv channel, wipe someone’s butt, ect ect ect….the list goes on and on.   Last night Joey fell asleep while I was cooking dinner.  He woke up with a hair across his ass when dinner was ready (now steve was working late and I was also cooking brownies for the boys).  Joey started crying from the couch, half asleep still, that he had to pee.  I went running but I was too late.   Then I strip him of his clothes and he started pitching a fit.   Screaming crying that he wanted me to hold his penis as he peed.   Are you effing kidding me kid?   I just couldn’t even.  He continued to scream and wouldn’t come up to take a quick bath.   I plated everyone’s dinner and sat down to eat quick while Joey was buck naked in the bayhrooom screaming.  I could only listen for so long until I put my fork down and scooped him up and carried him to the tub.   I asked him nicely to get in the tub and he was still screaming and crying.  I tossed him in tub and turned on the shower.  You would think I was water boarding this child the way he was carrying on.  After 5 exhausting minutes he was showered/tubbed with clean pjs on.   Woot woot.  Went downstairs and ate a cold dinner while keeping everyone in check.   My husband walks through the door at 7 aggravated with work.   He wasn’t happy about work and I wasn’t happy about the past 4 hours of what went on in my house.   Steve was talking about this person and that person at work and i said “well atleast you didn’t have to listen to his child screaming for the past hour”.   He said nope but I had to deal with xyz at work.    I’m sitting there thinking he has it easy while he’s sitting there thinking I have it easy.  Some days I would give anything to go back to work again.   Not having the constant person needing every last second of my attention all day long.   The next thought in my head I’m so sad at the thought of my babies growing up so quickly and not needing me anymore.    Yes the days are long, but the years are quick.   I said this in the beginning and I’m telling you again.   I do cherish each and every second I have with my kids.  I’m so grateful and thankful that we make it work so I can stay home with them.   Every time I turn on the news and hear another horror story about some daycare worker I hug my kids tighter (I might even punch Joey if he’s being fresh) but I am thankful I am here raising them.    Here are easy days and there are really hard days.    

There is no simple answer to who has it easier, the working parent or the stay at home parent.   Both people envy the other.    Both people wish they had what the other had.  At the end of the day we have to do what’s right for our own families.   We have to do what’s right for our own sanity.   As far as my sanity goes, I’m a big drinker of red wine.  If you have any extra bottles of red drop them by my house.  They will never be wasted.   

Take care everyone.  Squeeze those little buggers a bit tighter today.   There will be a day where they won’t crawl up onto your lap and cuddle because they’ll be just too damn big.   On those days that seem really long….go open a bottle of wine.  

Killing time

I am sitting on a bike at the gym pedaling away as I type this out.   Life seems to be passing me by in a blink of an eye.  I am trying like hell to hold on and not miss a beat.  My eyes have been opened up a bit wider lately.   I have no clue why the earth is sending me all these messages but I figured I should listen before it’s too late.  

I know I have said this before but we as a society spends way too much time on our phones.   It’s so easy to loose an hour just aimlessly scrolling through one of the many social media outlets.  I am part of a multi level marketing company.   This requires me to spend some time pimping myself out on social media.   I have to run monthly challenge groups to keep my business running.   I have to message and answer others messages to me.  That being said my kids shouldn’t be suffering.  Oh it happens.  I know it probably happens all too often and I am going to try like hell to get a lot of my phone shit done when they are at school.   

I reached out to a friend who sells lularoe to see if she was interested in pairing up for a business opportunity.  She told me that she was closing up shop.   She started selling lularoe to help better her children’s life.  She wanted to be able to stay home and have money to do great things.    Instead she was spending way too much time on her phone.  She was neglecting her time with her kids because she was too busy with her business.   The thing that she started doing to improve her time with her kids was actually harming her time with her kids.   She realized it and is walking away.   I told her that i was proud of her and applauded the fact that she is stopping it before it’s too late.   

I don’t want my kids thinking it’s okay to spend every last second with their noses in their phones or kindles.    Happy that the weather is warming up.   We spent most of the weekend outside soaking up the sun.   

I know I can spend way too much time on my phone.   I am going to try to keep it tucked away and focus my attention on my kids.   They will someday look back and see that I tried my best to make sure they knew know just how important they are to me.